Sunday, June 04, 2006
Dealing with Depression
Lethargy and laziness can be very dangrous, if not handled correctly.
I desperately need something to awaken me from this drunken stupor I am in, something to snap me out of this lifeless trance which has engulfed the past 5 days of my holiday. In any case, something is definitely not right.
Perhaps it is true. Perhaps, I have indeed left a part of myself in the US, a part of myself which I may be destined never to reclaim. Understandably, I feel myself wanting to relive those glorious two months during the year-end break of 2004, where everything seemed so surreal, so perfect. What I cannot come to grips with is, why do I at the same time want to relive those months when my family and I were separated, when my life was a shambolic mess in terms of schoolwork, a time where I just existed without anything to push me forward, to spur me onward. This is something which I cannot explain, something which my finite mind cannot fathom. Perhaps it is Stockholm syndrome, a somewhat warped version of it.
Something must be done, to keep the usage of my time wise. I don't ask for much, just that every waking moment be spent fruitfully, that I may be able to give a good account of myself on the day of reckoning. I must be off to work now then, for the night cometh. Amen and amen.
I desperately need something to awaken me from this drunken stupor I am in, something to snap me out of this lifeless trance which has engulfed the past 5 days of my holiday. In any case, something is definitely not right.
Perhaps it is true. Perhaps, I have indeed left a part of myself in the US, a part of myself which I may be destined never to reclaim. Understandably, I feel myself wanting to relive those glorious two months during the year-end break of 2004, where everything seemed so surreal, so perfect. What I cannot come to grips with is, why do I at the same time want to relive those months when my family and I were separated, when my life was a shambolic mess in terms of schoolwork, a time where I just existed without anything to push me forward, to spur me onward. This is something which I cannot explain, something which my finite mind cannot fathom. Perhaps it is Stockholm syndrome, a somewhat warped version of it.
Something must be done, to keep the usage of my time wise. I don't ask for much, just that every waking moment be spent fruitfully, that I may be able to give a good account of myself on the day of reckoning. I must be off to work now then, for the night cometh. Amen and amen.
